I read this article in the Guardian today by Brigid Delaney.
"Frequently described in Ancient Greek philosophy, ataraxia is a state that is characterised by freedom from distress and worry. It is a mindset that is experiences and cultivated internally. Instead of chasing sugar highs, ataraxia suggests striving for a feeling of tranquillity." She goes on, "But how can we achieve this ataraxia - particularly for a modern person who is surrounded by distraction, marketing, social media and capitalism?" And I thought, wow, I've definitely felt inner tranquillity, inner calm, and a general sense of contentment. But unlike what the article suggests you need to do, I didn't find it my striving with my mind. I found it through my eating habits. She literally mentions "chasing sugar highs" and she doesn't know how right that is! Food is mood. At least for me. And I'm guessing it's the same for everyone, I'm not special. I've lived without sugar for more than three weeks only twice in my life. Both times I felt a massive change in my brain. I was calm and content, I had no anxiety, I didn't have moments of hating the world, people, everything. I was happy, but not the joyful burst of happiness you get sometimes, it was really a steady stream of contentment. It was much better than peaks and troughs. All I had to do was give up sugar. And maybe wheat as well. Both times I wasn't eating either of them. But I've only done this twice in my nearly 40 years of living (barring those days when I'm sure my parents weren't spiking the breastmilk with extra sugar). I find it incredibly hard to stop. Even when the physical cravings are gone after a few days, the mental cravings are there for a bit longer. I'm always looking back at these two times in my life as my ultimate state of being goal. I felt absolutely amazing physically and mentally. I know that my anxiety and discontent isn't really about my life and circumstances, it's just about what I'm eating. That actually seems nuts, like how is that true? But I've read about lots of people figuring this out. Sugar is a drug, for sure. And it's so easy to come by and regarded as totally normal. I realise there are so many people out there who have been through many worse things than I have, so many contentment and tranquillity might not be as simple as a change in diet. But I can get there in three weeks if I'm strong enough to quit sugar (and wheat). It really is simple, but it's never been easy for me. I've certainly gone a few days without sugar and wheat on many occasions. The problem is I convince myself that it's not as bad as I know it is, and I say, having a little won't hurt. But it always is. I'm forever backsliding into sugar on a daily basis, and this low level of constant anxiety never goes away. I'm reasonably happy with life, generally feeling okay, and sometimes I'm great. But I'm always in my head, neurotic, anxious, worried. It's not nice. I don't like it. And worse, since 2014, I know exactly what to do to make it go away. But here we are seven years later and I'm still saying, I can have this little bit of sugar, it's fine. I've given up a lot of things in my life and most were relatively easy. I love to see if I could live without something and it's great to find out that I need less and less stuff. But the one thing I'm desperate to ditch but cling to, rather unwillingly, is sugar. I know other people have done it. I'm not there yet. I'm still working on it. [For clarity, when I gave up sugar I still ate fruit. And during one of the trials I had given up all grains as well, and had even better results, physically and mentally.]
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